![]() The resulting dissonance in mouthfeel calls to mind the very texture of stale cereal exposed to air for too long, which immediately attaches an unfortunate placebo effect to the cereal bits’ flavor. But after this inaugural crunch, the bars’ constituent cereal shards are wispy, airy and chewy. Upon initial molar touchdown, one gets the impression that these are hefty, fortified little things, because the thick gloss of diluted sugar that coats the bars makes for a surprisingly tough exoskeleton. Namely, the bars exist in an uncanny valley between crunchiness and chewiness. Because they’re fine and dandy, and as mindlessly munchable as sour candy, but Honey Nut Cheerios Treats also have a few texture and flavor issues. That is how long it took me to reduce the entire box to hollow cardboard.Īnd yet, three (point two five?) out of five is, roughly, what I’d assign these Treats within the broader cereal bar canon. That is, on average, how long it took me to inhale each Honey Nut Cheerios Treat. I deeply enjoyed those aforementioned Honey Nut Cheerios “Milk ‘n Cereal Bars”-even if the freeze-dried milk sandwiched in the middle could practically be repurposed as sticky tack-so I’m interested to see how 2020’s slimmed-down take on America’s favorite cereal compares. Though I will say that in the case of General Mills bars, like these *new* Honey Nut Cheerios Treats, they’ve been getting smaller and lighter when compared to certain sugary bricks of yore (that can still apparently be bought, albeit only in cafeteria-friendly quantities). And clearly I’m not alone, as cereal companies have scrambled like diner eggs to adapt classic flavors for on-the-go breakfasting, while rebranding cereal itself as the midnight snack it was always destined to be.īut while concepts like breakfast shakes and mobile cereal receptacles are comparatively recent innovations, the world of cereal bars has largely eschewed architectural change, in favor of the tried and true “cereal bits bound by sweet-cream glue and shaped into crude rectangles” approach. For me, entering a workday with belly bloated rarely sounds appealing, especially since I’ve optimized my morning routine to essentially get me from bed to door in thoughtless, uninterruptible, and Rube-Goldbergian fashion. Such is the philosophy that has plagued cereal sales for the past decade-and for understandable reasons: breakfast as a temporally restricted concept is not what it used to be. Why waste time eating many small things when one big thing does the trick? ![]()
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